WARNING:  Long and MUSHY ….


Wow… Is it only Tuesday?  It’s been a crazy week at work and it just started.


Someone posed a question to me today.  “Who has made a difference in your life?”  I thought about it and honestly, I can’t think of just one.


One of the first people to come to my mind (I think because of the approaching holiday) is my first husband and my daughter’s father. He left my life, it seems, almost as quickly as he came into it. But in the short period of time I was lucky enough to know him, he not only gave me my daughter, but he was the first person who really made me stop and look at life.  He was able to help me — one of the most impatient people in the world — learn a little patience.


That brings me to my daughter. At only 11, she already has been through so much and has stood by me through thick and thin. At time, I think she has had a more “adult” outlook than I have.  As I watched her putting together the Christmas tree this evening,  I realize how quickly she is growing.  I cannot imagine her not being here and thank God every day that I still have her.


And then there’s my current husband, often lovingly referred to here as “hubby.”  Quite honestly, I think I should credit him with the fact that I’m still here.  Long before there was any romantic interest, he was simply my friend and helped me get through some really tough times.  He often had to remind me that there was more to think about than just me.


And I can’t forget the littlest member my family.  I just went in to watch him sleep.  He’s 2.  Because of him — mama’s little boy — I fully understand the meaning of unconditional love.


And my mom — she’s overcome obstacles I can’t even imagine.  And my uncle — he got me involved in church at a very young age and led me down that isle as I asked God into my heart.  My list goes on and on.  How do you pinpoint one person who has made a difference in your life?


I think about each of these and many, many more and I only hope that someday, someone might be posed with this same question and want to include me on this list.


Have a great Wednesday!!


 


 

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We spent our Saturday afternoon hanging Christmas lights outside.  Hubby found out the neighborhood homeowners’ association has a contest each year, so he’s on a mission now.  We didn’t get done today, so I’m sure we’ll be back at it tomorrow.


While we were outside this afternoon, the ice cream man drove by.  There’s just something not right about that.  It’s November 26.  We are outside in shorts hanging lights and my son is eating an ice cream cone!


Driving home from work the other day, I was listening to what I have finally decided is my favorite radio station here and they began their daily play log of Christmas music. Again, there’s just something not right about driving home in  85-degree weather listening to “Let It Snow.”  Crazy Texas Weather!  It’s making it hard for me to get into the holiday spirit.


I want to be snuggled up by the fireplace, nursing a mug of hot chocolate and admiring the twinkling lights of my tree.


Everyone have a nice evening.

If you could pick anything you wanted to make a living at, what would it be?


I find myself envious of people who find something they like to do and turn that into a job.  I’m really envious of those take that job and earn good money doing it.


I think my dream job would be to host a cooking show or maybe even just decorate Christmas trees all year long. Oh, better yet, since I currently work in a hospital, couldn’t I be the one who rocks the babies in the nursery all year long?


A couple of my ideas of what would make a good job are a little far-fetched.  I sometimes laugh at people who have hair-brained ideas and turn them into ways of making money.  I heard the other day on the radio about a guy who now sells “festivus” (a holiday that was brought to life on an episode of the Seinfield show) poles online.


Well, I guess is should “roll” myself to work.  I literally mean roll after all the food I ate yesterday.  It’s water and lettuce for me the rest of the week. 


Happy day after Thanksgiving!


 

I haven’t posted in a couple of days.. things have been crazy around here and as we enter the holidays, it’s only going to get worse.


I’m sitting here, Thanksgiving is the day after tomorrow and I feel the anxiety, panic-driven stress and the “I’m fixing to go into an all-night cleaning and cooking” fit welling up inside of me.  I do this every year but as of this very moment I’m going to tell myself “STOP, BREATHE, RELAX and ENJOY.”


So what if my Thanksgiving table doesn’t look like something straight out of the pages of Southern Living. So what if underneath that table is a floor that is not perfectly clean. And so what if we eat our dinner at 3:04, rather than straight up 3. It will be OKAY.  Or so I’m told.


So what if my holiday home is not Martha Stewart, HGTV and Southern Living all wrapped up in a Norman Rockwell painting.  So what, it will be okay.


It’s funny, Thanksgiving and Christmas are my favorite times of the year, but I rarely actually enjoy them.  It’s quite sad.  Starting about mid-October I turn into a different woman (yes, even more stressed that my normal self!!) — a woman I’m sure my friends and family just adore being around.  When the long summer days start fading into Fall, or what little Fall we actually get in Texas, I go into overdrive.  I start planning, setting schedules and scouring the pages of numerous magazines and websites, and I live for Food Network and HGTV holiday specials. I’m always on the hunt for what will make our holidays “perfect.”  But what is perfect?  At the end of the season, I’m ashamed to say, I never see our holiday festivities as perfect.  I’ve stressed myself out so much that I just don’t enjoy them.


I’m not sure what is it inside of me that makes me this way.  Yes, a great deal of it is circumstantial.  For reasons I won’t go into here, the holidays are just hard for me.  I guess the rest of it is that Martha Stewart wanna-be side of me.  I don’t know where I get that.  And for those who know me, I’m no Martha Stewart.


We’ll make it through our Thanksgiving meal with few mishaps, but I barely get the dishes cleared before I go into Christmas mode and start dragging out the more than 30, yes I said 30, boxes of Christmas decorations.


Again, this year I say SO WHAT.  So what if I don’t get all four (I’m a glutton for punishment) trees up and perfectly decorated by the end of  Thanksgiving weekend.  So what if my son breaks an ornament.  So what if one of the 632,000 lights my hubby carefully hangs outside goes out — okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but we are approaching Griswald status and we won’t notice if a few bulbs burn out.  SO WHAT!  STOP, BREATH, RELAX and ENJOY.  I’m silently chanting that to myself as I feel the urge to go downstairs and bake some cornbread for Thursday’s dressing — wouldn’t want to be late or anything.  Okay, my heart is beating faster, sweat is glistening on my brow and I’m getting restless.  Shelly, I say, “the cornbread can wait.”  I still have 27 hours until Thanksgiving dinner.


I spend so much time on all the details, on stressing on inconsequential things and being unhappy over things in life that I just can’t control, that I forget what’s important.  In the end, instead of being thankful for a great holiday, I wind up sad and feeling like a failure for not reaching my unrealistic expectations of what it should be like.  When I do step back and look, the negatives are nothing, and the positives by far outnumber them. 


What’s important is the “I’m filled to the brim” look of happiness on hubby’s face as he sits on the couch watching Thanksgiving day football.  What’s important is watching my little one as we hang “his” Santa Claus ornaments on his very own tree.  What’s important is staying up late on a work night to watch a movie with my daughter, not organize the wrapping paper in the closet to wrap those yet, unpurchased gifts.


So this year, I’m setting my New Year’s resolution early, I’m going to “STOP, BREATHE, RELAX and ENJOY.”


Night all!


 

Someone just shoot me now!!  I certainly want to be headed down the road or path or whatever it is to sucess, but as I prepare for tomorrpw I realize, I don’t think another 8 hours of filing is going to put me on the fast track … oh well!  Another dollar– no more moaning about that.


I did see something on the news this morning that I find humorous for some reason.  San Antonio is getting a new Chick-Fil-A. In fact, it opened today.  More than 100 people camped out last night to be the first in line.  We had our first “cold” evening here last night (by cold I mean in the mid-30s) and these people are sleeping outside on the concrete to win a year’s worth of free chicken sandwiches.  I’m just not sure that is worth it.


Granted, I do love a Chick-Fil-A sandwich every now and then.  You just can’t beat a fried piece of sodium-filled fat gram with pickles on a bun, but I’m not sure I’d sleep out in the cold to get them. Fortunately for those who did, the chicken sandwiches (along with Starbucks) were cut out of my diet about a year ago.


It’s late and I’m sleepy, so night!  Have a great Friday.


 


 

I must start my Xanga routine much earlier in the evening.  It does my ego good to tell myself that if I did so earlier — before dinner, dishes, laundry, the kids and various other duties drain all my energy — that I would somehow become much more interesting.


I long for days gone by that when just sitting at a keyboard would somehow entice the words to flow from my mind, through my fingertips and onto the page.  The words are still there most days, but somehow don’t seem as deep or probably as widely entertaining as they once were.  Generally they (they meaning my words) are about my kids. Past an audience made up of myself, hubby, grandparents and a few of my devoted friends, I truly doubt my kids have a large, devoted fan base. Although, they are beautiful, smart and compelling children. (I’m only a “little” biased  )


And speaking of things that I long for —  I want to not feel frumpy.  I’ve been fighting the battle of “frumpiness” for some time now.  I read and I’m told that’s it’s all a state of mind but my mind feels, well for the lack of words to better describe it, frumpy.


I want to feel put together, attractive, confident and with it — not rushed, wrinkled and some days, unattractive.  I do have my days that, for a fleeting moment, I feel like I might still have “it” (whatever “it” is).  I had one of those days pretty recently.


One day last week I got up and got ready for work.  The clothes seemed to work that day.  I had on a great pair of shoes I found hidden in the back of my closet and it was a good hair day.  Most women understand the importance of great shoes and good hair days, especially when they are paired together!  It was an all-around good morning.


 I went to work feeling attractive, confident and when walking down the hall, I felt like one of those women who ooze with the aforementioned “it.”  It was great.  Then I had to push my luck.  I had to dig to the bottom of my purse looking for lip gloss to finish off the look.  In doing so, I started spilling out a plethora of gummy bears, Happy Meal toys, barrettes and other items my children feel are needed in my purse. I was starting to lose my air of put togetherness.


“Okay,” I thought to myself.  “No one saw that. I can save my mood.”  I quickly gathered everything up and tucked it back into my bag.  I made my way to the restroom to apply the lip gloss.  In checking myself in the mirror.  I turned around to reveal a perfect little hand print in peanut butter on my backside.  It was a sweet reminder of the goodbye hug I’d received from my little one that morning, but a killer for a good hair day!


Good night everyone.


 


 

I don’t know what is better, George Strait and his Wranglers, Tim McGraw in that black cowboy hat or Bon Jovi (who by the way, gets better looking every year), but I got to see them all tonight.


I spent the evening watching the CMA awards with hubby.  It was good.  But, there were some odd pairings on there tonight … the oddest being Dolly Parton and Elton John.  It was quite interesting.


I also did my usual “clean on the commercials.”  I’ve got laundry piled to the ceiling and I’m trying to find my home under all of that. And somewhere in the midst, I saw a bug …ewwwww… I don’t do bugs.  I’m not sure what it was or where it came from, but it was the size of a small car and I’m pretty sure it hissed at me before running away.


On that note, I think I’ll get back to the laundry, rather than sit here and bore all of my “readers” with any more nonense — all 3 or 4 of them, LOL


Have a great night.