I got it yesterday. That letter I’ve been dreading. The one I didn’t know I was dreading until I got it – the invitation to my 20th high school reunion. There! I said it. I’ve been out of high school for 20 years … could it be?? I really don’t feel like I’m on the backend of my “thirty-something’s.” Ugh.
So, now the question is do I go? I haven’t spoken to most of my classmates since the day I walked across that stage to retrieve my diploma. The other small handful I pretty much lost touch with after a couple of years in college. It’s sad but it’s true. It might be kind of fun to go and catch up with a few of my friends — celebrate our accomplishments and brag about our children.
It might be really (I mean really fun) to go and silently find satisfaction in the fact that the girl who always made fun of me never left the town we grew up in. She married my boyfriend, never graduated from college and got a whole lot fatter than me. That sounds so shallow … so much shallower than I ever thought I could be, but it would be FUN!! I’m ashamed of myself for admitting that.
It can’t be all that bad. I’m sure that compared to some of the others, I’ve aged pretty well. I used to think that getting older (and getting that “dreaded letter”) wouldn’t bother me, but somehow it does. I should be really proud. I have two beautiful children; a great husband and I pretty much did what I set out to do right out of high school – and on my own! The evil side of my psyche is taking over and telling me that’s not good enough, that I abandoned my career years ago and should somehow feel ashamed of my life as it is.
I don’t know. I do know I have to make a decision and have a check in the mail soon. Think I can pull a feat that would make even Romy and Michelle proud — revamp my life in just a little over a month. It can’t be that hard. I just need lose another 50 pounds, rise to the top of the corporate ladder and make a million in about four weeks. What do you think?
Oh well, I think I should reexamine my priorities and come up with a new list of “pros.” Guess that will be another entry.